


Detroit: Become Meta

by SpiceWrites



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: AGAIN I’M SORRY, Completed, Connor is cursed af, Explicit Language, Fluff, Gay, Multi, Simarkus, WTF is happening, chloe is legit a savage, gavin is bullied lmao, gay disaster aka Gavin Reed, groupchat au, idk what tags are good, im sorry, josh wants to die, lots of gay, none to little smut, north and Chloe are best duo, of course, oof, reed900, will add more characters if requested, will add out of chat chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-06-26 19:25:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19774825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiceWrites/pseuds/SpiceWrites
Summary: “Happy Birthday, Simon!” North extends her arms to give him a small box wrapped in blue paper.“North, if it’s a phone.. I’m not going to join your stupid group chat..” Simon sighs.North smirks, “We’ll see..”[Updates every 1-3 days!!]Edit: completed!!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first AO3 writing, so I’m sorry if I fuck something up. I’m used to writing on Wattpad.  
> If you guys want more characters in the cast, just comment who :)

**North has added Simon, Markus, Chloe, and Josh to the group chat.**

**North has renamed the group chat to HAIL SATAN.**

**Simon, Markus, Josh, Chloe, and North are online.**

Josh: what the absolute fuck north

Simon: i-

Chloe: Aww, what a cute name! Adorable, sweetie.

Josh: CHLoE nO

Markus: north it’s 2 am I’m trying to sleep

Josh: we know you weren’t sleeping

Simon: yes we were

Josh: WE?

Chloe: That shit gay.

Josh: chLOE-

North: h e h

Markus: north I swear to god you better not be planning some shit

**North has renamed Markus, RoboJesus.**

Josh: W HA T

RoboJesus: fitting

**North has renamed Simon, gay.**

gay: fuck off

gay: due to this dISRESPECT, im going back to sleep now

North: lmao ok sensitive 

Chloe: Sleep well, PL600.

Josh: night Markus 

RoboJesus: I’m not going to sleep?

gay: yes he is

**RoboJesus and gay are offline.**

Josh: I’m gonna sleep

North: NO

**North has renamed Josh, peaceslut.**

peaceslut: NORTH

**North is offline.**

peaceslut: whatever

**peaceslut is offline.**

Chloe: It’s lonely :(

**North is online.**

North: babey it’s 2:57 am that’s why

Chloe: I never enter stasis b

North: does elijah fuck you all night or something 

Chloe: No. I may be equipped with the parts necessary, but I definitely do not have a sexual or romantic relationship with my creator.

North: gay

Chloe: You wish.

North: not gay enough

**North has added Gavin Reed and RK900 to the chat.**

North: now you won’t be lonely, love

**North has renamed RK900, Nines.**

Nines: busst

North: what

Chloe: buzz...?

Nines: im buszhy

North: you’re busy? then don’t answer lmao

Gavin: WE’Re fuCkIng bUsy rn SToP

Chloe: o h? ;)

North: gay

Chloe: gay

**North has renamed Gavin Reed, daddyreed.**

daddyreed: wtf

North: *finger guNs*

Chloe: *pew pew*

Nines: he will never be dominant. that nick is absurd

**North has renamed daddyreed, betabitch**

North: HAHAHAHAHA

Nines: purrrrfect

betabitch: N O

North: yes

Chloe: yes

Nines: yes

**betabitch is offline.**

Chloe: Mission Successful. Proud of you, North.

North: iT wAs nOthinr ;))))

Nines: North, you spell terribly.

North: stfu gay

Chloe: no you

Nines: 01010011 01001000 01010101 01010100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 00100000 01000110 01010101 01000011 01001011 00100000 01010101 01010000

Chloe: oh

North: YOU

Chloe: sis snapped didn’t she-

**North and Nines are offline.**

Chloe: oh shi-

**Chloe is offline.**


	2. Chapter 2

**HAIL SATAN-3:23 P.M.**

**North, peaceslut, betabitch, and gay are online.**

peaceslut: North please change my nick

betabitch: god no change MINE

North: earn it, Gavin

betabitch: how

North: say you’re sorry

betabitch: for what. i haven’t ever laid a hand on you

North: for being a sub

gay: HAHAHAHA

peaceslut: simon you’re not exactly any better

gay: markus is a switch you ignorant potato

North: we didn’t specify with who-

gay: oh shit

**gay is offline.**

betabitch: I’m not apologizing to plastic

North: come fuck me and see if it feels like plastic 

**betabitch is offline.**

peaceslut: north why

North: because

peaceslut: k

**North has renamed North, queen.**

queen: :)

peaceslut: ew

queen: no u

peaceslut: shit

peaceslut: REVERSE CARD

queen: reverse card, draw +4

peaceslut: fuck yoU

**peaceslut is offline.**

**queen is offline.**

**Nines is online.**

Nines: Kitten, the supply closet is free~ when’s your break..?

**queen is online.**

queen: OH-

Nines: WRINF CHAGT

**Nines has requested to delete a message.**

Nines: WTF

queen: HAHAHAHA EXPOSED

queen: DIRTY BOY

**queen has renamed Nines, gavinsdaddy.**

gavinsdaddy: NO

queen: @betabitch

**betabitch is online.**

betabitch: yea, I get on break in 20 mins~ or is the wait too much~

betabitch: WAIT NO

gavinsdaddy: I-

queen: WHERE IS THOT PATROL

queen: @Chloe

**Chloe is online.**

**North has renamed Chloe, THOTPATROL.**

THOTPATROL: HANDS UP

gavinsdaddy: @betabitch I CAN EXPLAIN

betabitch: FUCK ME

gavinsdaddy: I WAS GOING TO-

THOTPATROL: get fucked

betabitch: I AM

queen: this is funny

betabitch: S T O p

queen: ok

**queen is offline.**

THOTPATROL: I will get you next time, Gavin Reed.

betabitch: try me hoe

betabitch: ugly ass tincan 

THOTPATROL: 01000111 01100001 01110110 01101001 01101110 00100000 01010010 01100101 01100101 01100100 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110011 01110111 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01010010 01000001 00111001 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01110101 01100110 01100110 01100101 01110010 00101110 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100110 01100101 01100101 01101100 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101101 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01110000 01100001 01101001 01101110 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 11100010 10000000 10011001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110011 01101000 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101101 01101001 01110100 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110011 01110101 01101001 01100011 01101001 01100100 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101000 01100001 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100100 01100101 01110000 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110011 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00101110 00100000 01010011 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100001 01101100 01101100 01100101 01101110 01100111 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101110

betabitch: WHAT DOES IT SAY @gavinsdaddy

**gavinsdaddy is offline.**

betabitch: OH FUCK WHAT DOES IT SAY

**THOTPATROL is offline.**

betabitch: PHKSKSSKKSFUXK

**betabitch is offline.**


	3. Chapter 3

**HAIL SATAN-7:23 a.m.**

**gavinsdaddy, betabitch, RoboJesus, queen, and THOTPATROL are online.**

RoboJesus: what the hell happened

THOTPATROL: bitches got they ass beAt

RoboJesus: Chloe, why are you starting to talk like that?

THOTPATROL: Whatever do you mean?

RoboJesus: cheesus crust

betabitch: speaking of cheesus crust I’m hungry

queen: fOr dICK

betabitch: o H mY gOd stOP

gavinsdaddy: who said she was wrong tho

RoboJesus: why did you guys add them

queen: it’s funny

queen: chloe agrees

THOTPATROL: yes I do

RoboJesus: they’re stupid cops

queen: no they’re horny cops

RoboJesus: k where’s the stupid cop then

 **queen has added Connor.**

Connor: Hi uwu 

gavinsdaddy: oh fuck no

betabitch: ew

Connor: òwó

THOTPATROL: you’re fucking curSED

Connor: uwu what do you mean oneesan

THOTPATROL: n o s T O P

queen: e w wtf is this

RoboJesus: this is what you get for adding him

**North has renamed Connor, curseduwu.**

curseduwu: uwu

betabitch: fuck off

betabitch: S T O P LOOKING AT ME

gavinsdaddy: creep

curseduwu: well I’m not the “ghosts” in the supply closet

RoboJesus: this is too gay

THOTPATROL: dude you’re gay

RoboJesus: so are you stfu

**RoboJesus and THOTPATROL are offline.**

queen: oof

curseduwu: owo

gavinsdaddy: s T O P I will kill yOu

curseduwu: oniichan, you wish~

curseduwu: hehehe

gavinsdaddy: where did you even learn that

curseduwu: Gavin’s computer 

**betabitch is offline.**

gavinsdaddy: wtf

queen: don’t act stupid nines we all know y’all into that kinky shit

gavinsdaddy: how did you know

queen: h A 

gavinsdaddy: w a it

gavinsdaddy: F 

**gavinsdaddy is offline.**

**gay is online.**

gay: I’m-

**gay is offline.**

curseduwu: it’s just you and me north chan

queen: ok stop

curseduwu: Nyyaaa~

queen: WHAT HAPPENED TO U

curseduwu: Nothing, WR400. My systems are fully operational.

queen: curs e d 

**queen is offline.**

curseduwu: sad!ówò

**curseduwu is offline.**


	4. Chapter 4

**HAIL SATAN-10:48 A.M.**

**curseduwu, gay, THOTPATROL, gavinsdaddy, and peaceslut are online.**

gay: morning

peaceslut: good morning Simon

gay: where’s north and markus

peaceslut: getting silly string at party city

gay: why

peaceslut: for the house

curseduwu: bad decor choice

gay: I agree

THOTPATROL: I don’t. It’s random and gay

peaceslut: Chloe how is that gay?

gavinsdaddy: everything a gay touches is automatically gay

gay: yes

curseduwu: so detective reed is gay? 

THOTPATROL: are you stupid

curseduwu: yes I am

curseduwu: the real question is... who tops?

**Everyone is typing...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter since I’ve been busy. I am writing empty tho and it should be up by this week


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh I’m trying to write as much as possible but I’m really depressed rn and ugh idk

**HAIL SATAN-11:28 P.M.**

**gavinsdaddy, gay, RoboJesus, queen, THOTPATROL, and betabitch are online.**

gay: why are all the homos the only ones awake

THOTPATROL: they’re busy fucking

THOTPATROL: specifically nines and gavin 

gavinsdaddy: no Gavin just has a fever

RoboJesus: aw sorry

queen: baby mAkING FEVER

gavinsdaddy: no I’m serious it’s really high

queen: like my IQ

gavinsdaddy: k

gay: k

RoboJesus: anything we can do to help?

THOTPATROL: yeah, even though we all bully him I feel bad

betabitch: you should

gay: you’re alive omg 

betabitch: yeah,, it just hurts bad

gay: what

betabitch: everything

gavinsdaddy: he has a fever of 102 degrees

betabitch: :(

queen: aw

THOTPATROL: I can have Elijah send a care package <3

gavinsdaddy: aw thank you

THOTPATROL: my pleasure

RoboJesus: what made him sick

gavinsdaddy: he has laryngitis from yelling

queen: yeah yelling your name

gavinsdaddy: you’re only 1/4 right but go off

THOTPATROL: you both should get some rest

gavinsdaddy: thanks

betabitch: goodnight 

RoboJesus: goodnight guys

gay: night don’t let the heterosexuals bite

**RoboJesus, betabitch, and gavinsdaddy are offline.**

gay: :(

queen: what

THOTPATROL: he’s sad 

queen: yeah I know that idiot

THOTPATROL: omg rude

gay: I’m sad because we ran out of shaving cream

queen: wh-

queen: why do you need shaving cream

gay: to eat

queen: NANSNSKSKMSKSKSNANAJSJ

THOTPATROL: OOP-

gay: :3

**gay and queen are offline.**

THOTPATROL: well night guys

**THOTPATROL is offline.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kill me

“Detective, the care package Chloe sent arrived.”

“Great,,” Gavin smiled weakly, “Send her a thank you.”

**HAIL SATAN-2:51 P.M.**

**peaceslut, queen, gavinsdaddy, and gay are online.**

peaceslut: N O R TH STOP

gay: wjat

queen: you sTOP

gay: what is hAPPENING

peaceslut: ewww androids have pp

queen: YEAH DUMBASS I WAS A SEX ANDROID

gay: Josh you’re so innocent

peaceslut: yeah but it’s grossssss

queen: Gavin doesn’t think it’s gross

queen: right @betabitch @gavinsdaddy

gavinsdaddy: oof Josh it’s not gross 

gavinsdaddy: also tell Chloe I said thanks for the package

queen: @THOTPATROL

**THOTPATROL is online.**

THOTPATROL: sorry Elijah needed me to run errands what’s up

THOTPATROL: oh heck no problem guys

queen: now this is epic

gay: you mean wholesome

queen: shut up bottom

peaceslut: does Simon have.......

queen: J O S H

gay: ew Josh that’s gay

peaceslut: hanJjannwjwWNSNSMSMS

queen: have you ever looked in your pants Josh

peaceslut: no

peaceslut: o h

gay: idiot

peaceslut: there’s nothing there

THOTPATROL: HAHAHAHAHA

gavinsdaddy: lmao Gavin wHO

queen: xs 

gay: why are we talking about this tho

THOTPATROL: dont ask me

**curseduwu is online.**

curseduwu: OWO WHATS THIS

queen: NO

**queen is offline.**

curseduwu: uwu~~~

gavinsdaddy: uh

peaceslut: ...wtf

curseduwu: nyaaaaa

gay: FUCK NO BYE

**gavinsdaddy and gay are offline.**

curseduwu: @THOTPATROL @peaceslut

THOTPATROL: NO CONNOR

THOTPATROL: N O N O N O

peaceslut: rA9 save us holy fuck

**RoboJesus is online.**

RoboJesus: yOu cALLED

curseduwu: oh no

RoboJesus: die connor 

curseduwu: ok

**curseduwu is offline.**

THOTPATROL: OUR SAVIOR

peaceslut: yeaaaay 

RoboJesus: aww it was nothing ;))

**RoboJesus, peaceslut, and THOTPATROL are offline.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually spun a wheel to calculate who kissed who and Gavin actually got Nines so yEah  
> But also been having major art and writing block smh :(

**HAIL SATAN-7:26 A.M.**

**queen, THOTPATROL, curseduwu, gay, RoboJesus, and gavinsdaddy are online.**

THOTPATROL: sleepover tonight at Elijah’s :)

THOTPATROL: come around 5 pm!

queen: what to bring

THOTPATROL: blankets and pillows 

gavinsdaddy: do you have an extra room

gay: of course YOU ask that

THOTPATROL: yes :)

RoboJesus: I’ll go for the heck of it

gay: guess I’m going 

queen: of course I am

gavinsdaddy: fine

curseduwu: oof just read the chat. Can’t go :(

THOTPATROL: it’s fine! see y’all then

...

“Oh my god, is that....?” Gavin sputtered.

“Hello, Gavin. I’m here to escort you to Elijah’s,” Chloe smiled.

Nines was emotionless, but grabbed Gavin’s arm.  
“Who decided I was going?!” Gavin pulled away from Nines’ strong grasp, but ultimately was too weak to break it.

“I did,” Nines smirked, “There’s an extra room...”

...

“SPIN THE BOTTLE, HOE,” North yelled in Josh’s face.

“Shut the fuck up...” Josh mumbled, and reluctantly spun the empty beer bottle.  
It landed on Simon, and he blushed brightly.

“Do it,” Chloe smiled, “You have to...”

Josh looked at Markus with a “I’m sorry” look, and quickly kissed the blonde PL600.

North cheered, and took the bottle into her hands.  
“My turn, bitches!”

Nines.  
It landed on Nines.

“Fuck!” North screeched. 

Nines shrugged, and quickly pressed North’s mouth into his. Tongue and all.  
Gavin turned away, and Chloe giggled nervously. Both quite jealous.  
When they finished, North looked dazed.

“Good kisser,” Gavin boasted, “even better at sex.” 

“I’m gay anyways,” North spat, “ you jealous coffee bean.”

Gavin brushed off the comment, and slid the bottle towards him, declaring his turn.  
He winked at Nines, who winked back.

And like magic, it landed on Nines.

“Get over here,” Nines growled.

“Oh yeah, fuck me,” Gavin crawled into his lap.

Kissing turned into grabbing, and Chloe quickly defused the situation with, “that’s enough for tonight..”

Gavin and Nines moved to the spare room to finish their fun, and North laid out her blanket to sleep on. 

The group played board games and watched movies until they all decided it was time for a rest. Androids don’t sleep, but entering stasis isn’t bad.

Chloe snored softly in North’s arms, and North, half awake, played with her hair. 

Simon and Markus smooched softly in their sleep, and often mumbled “I love you”s.

Meanwhile, Josh seemed to be having a crisis.  
He kept shaking in his sleep, but it seemed like he was just dreaming of falling. Nothing too serious.

“How cute,” Elijah mumbled, carefully shutting the door for the androids.

“Sleep tight, kids.”

**Everyone is offline.❤️**


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was originally going to have 11 chapters, but I got bored and writing block quickly hit me. I really wanted to continue this story while also writing a Reed900 fic, but I’ve been way too focused on cosplay and cons to get a story or at least a plot for a Reed900 fic. Sorry for venting, just feel bad oof.

**HAIL SATAN-3:22 P.M.**

**queen is online.**

queen: pp 

**gavinsdaddy, gay, curseduwu, and peaceslut are online.**

gay: who’s pp 

queen: mine

curseduwu: it’s a traaappp, nyyyaaa~

gay: stfu

peaceslut: hey 

gay: hi

queen: stop lurking nines

gavinsdaddy: I’m working rn I can’t reply

curseduwu: no he’s not

gay: oO

curseduwu: he’s literally feeling up gavin

peaceslut: wtf

**peaceslut is offline.**

curseduwu: oh fuck here comes Fowler

**gavinsdaddy is offline.**

gay: o

queen: yiikes

**THOTPATROL is online.**

THOTPATROL: hellooo

gay: hi Chloe

curseduwu: hiii uwu

THOTPATROL: what did I miss?

queen: nothing yet lol

**gay is offline.**

queen: Simon?

queen: that’s weird @RoboJesus

**RoboJesus is online.**

RoboJesus: he’s ok don’t worry

RoboJesus: :)

**RoboJesus is offline.**

THOTPATROL: hUh ok

queen: so tell me about yourself Connor 

curseduwu: I like dogs

queen: wtf we already know

curseduwu: Nines is like a big brother ig 

curseduwu: but I’m actually older

queen: how is he like a big brother

curseduwu: he shows me how to do stuffs

THOTPATROL: all he knows how to do is fuck

curseduwu: he can also kill people :D

queen: WTF CONNOR 

THOTPATROL: tHat is darK OMG

queen: well Chloe don’t act innocent 

queen: you’re also creepy af

THOTPATROL: ye ok

**betabitch is online.**

betabitch: so we’re talking about nines huh

queen: t e A

betabitch: he snores

THOTPATROL: SIs snOres

queen: and?

betabitch: he’s a real dick

betabitch: he poured coffee on me :(

curseduwu: and it was Nines first day uwu

curseduwu: he did something good TwT

betabitch: st o p stfu

THOTPATROL: ah ok

THOTPATROL: but how did y’all get together

betabitch: long and hard process

queen: LONG AND HARD HAHAAHAHHAHA

betabitch: N O R TH YOU STUPID WHORE

queen: how am I a whore I don’t have sex 24/7

curseduwu: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

queen: did he just 

THOTPATROL: connor that’s not how..

queen: a keyboard smash is this Connor

queen: BENSJSJIWOWNXNAIAOMSNDKS

betabitch: he’s stupid

curseduwu: no, I just don’t understand humans

**gavinsdaddy is online.**

queen: HOE WHERE WERE YOU

gavinsdaddy: in trouble 

THOTPATROL: HAHHAAHA

gavinsdaddy: who wants to go out to eat

queen: we physically can’t-

gavinsdaddy: oh fuck right 

betabitch: yeah uh there’s a community dinner

curseduwu: every year we host one

queen: that’s so @gay

**gay is online.**

gay: yikes that is gay

THOTPATROL: so what do y’all serve

queen: Gavin serves dick

curseduwu: north you’re not wrong

gay: do you have baklava 

queen: WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS THAT

gavinsdaddy: ^

betabitch: baklava no. balls yes.

gay: I-

gay: JD SKSOKSMDM HAAAHAHA

queen: you killed Simon

curseduwu: ...

queen: shut up about the tower

THOTPATROL: WH-

gay: :( 

gavinsdaddy: oof big yikes

gavinsdaddy: Kitten

curseduwu: WHERE

betabitch: yes daddy?

queen: O M G 

gay: HAHAHAHAHAH HOLY SHIT

THOTPATROL: F

**curseduwu and betabitch are offline.**

gay: yeet 

gavinsdaddy: y e e t

queen: y ē ē t

THOTPATROL: 01011001 01000101 01000101 01010100

gavinsdaddy: w o w

gay: hey remember the time....

queen: D ONT

gay: north got pissed off at markus so she...

queen: no Simon don’t :((((

gay: ok I won’t

queen: :)

gay: SHE TRIED TO IMPRESS HIM BY JUMPING OFF A BUILDING BUT FELL ON HER FACE

queen: WHAT THE FUCK

gay: SHE CRIED

gavinsdaddy: it seems as deviants constantly fail

THOTPATROL: ok DeVIAnt hUntEr

gavinsdaddy. I’m not a deVianT ><

gay: you sound like Connor 

gavinsdaddy: no he would say

gavinsdaddy: Uwuoniichan~ I’m n-not... a...

queen: OK STOP

THOTPATROL: aA

**gay, queen, and THOTPATROL are offline.**

gavinsdaddy: oof

**gavinsdaddy is offline.**

**RoboJesus is online.**

RoboJesus: what the fuck

**RoboJesus is offline.**


End file.
